Karma??

Sunday night is when it all started. My mind was racing and I knew the forecast for this week. My pathetic self centeredness, better known as "I", needed to get a ride to Lower Trestles. After talking to my parents and couple of friends I was shut down but still determined to hitch a ride. As Monday morning hit I glared at the computer screen watching the Lowers cam show beautiful A-frames continuously roll in one after another. Out of no where a friend IMs me and asks what I'm doing today. After a brief conversation I was running to pack. I found my ride and was headed to Lower Trestles. As she drove up I quickly loaded my gear into her car and we were off. It was an agonizing drive due to my anxiety and visions of perfection. We exited the 5 fwy and were accompanied by half of Orange County. As I knew my location and destination my "driver" did not. She was just along for the adventure and happy to be with me. We finally reached the sand and I dropped my pack and surfboard and quickly examined the waves and crowd. Trying to not rush putting my wetsuit and thin layer of sunscreen on my cancer riden nose, I had totally forgot how I had gotten to were I was and whom I was with. My overjoyed self was filled with excitement and pure stoke. It was a clear slightly breezy late morning, the water was crystal and the suns energy was pumping through my veins. After a 3 hour plus session I was deprived, perplexed, and sulking in the sand. My mind my scrambled for I was envisioning a perfect day, but now it had turned into a anger driven afternoon. As I stripped off my wetsuit and threw on my trunks I laid next to a beautiful girl wondering how my wonderfully planned day had turned into a depressing slump of an afternoon. Eating a sandwich and chatting with the girl that laid beside me I tried to turn my negativity into positive vibes by trying to find the good in this god blessed beautiful day. My head cleared and I thought another hour would not hurt my chances of bettering my day. The day was growing old and I was beginning to get the chills. I exited the water in a tad bit happier mood but i was still greatly disappointed with self. I felt like I had been relinquished of all my confidence. As my girl and I drove home I wondered if by letting my selfish desires get in the way of having a nice day with a friend ruined what the day really could of lived up to. I ruined my self by my self and all in all, I learned not to take friends willing to put up with me for granted and just go with the flow.